Zukka trope drabbles
by Kahuna Burger
Summary: A series of Zukka-rific drabbles each inspired by by an entry from TV Tropes. A wide variety of settings, ratings and silliness is to be expected. Will be M as a whole for safety.
1. Casual danger dialog

**A/N : A silly drabble series I'm trying. Each one will be inspired by one of the TV Tropes entries, at the page of the same name ending in org. I will take requests, though not all will be played straight - some might be brutally deconstructed or simply discussed in character rather than used per se. Others I will find by using the random trope button until I get an idea. **

**A/N2 : My goal is to add a drabble every time one of my favorite fics updates. So my joy shall be returned unto you.**

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

_**1. Casual Danger Dialog**_

"I'm just saying, I'm pretty sure Sokka tops."

Toph rolled her sightless eyes. "Look, I know you dated him, so maybe you don't want to see the truth, but Sokka is the little bottom boy in this relationship. Just look at them!"

"What, you think just because Zuko has more muscles, he's dominant?" Suki snorted. "Think about the relationship dynamics. Zuko may be physically strong, but let's face it, he's completely emotionally damaged. He needs an emotionally strong man take the lead, that is, top him like he's a mattress."

"I _am_ thinking of the relationship dynamics! Zuko is a prince! He's been conditioned his whole life to take command, dominate any situation he's in. Do you really think he's submitting to some peasant every night? No offense, Snoozles."

"Yeah, no problem, thanks for noticing me. Say, do you two think you could debate my sex life sometime when we're **not** riding an airship full of comet empowered firebenders to our collective dooms?"

"Sorry, Sokka, if I'm going to die, I want Toph to admit I'm right first."

"Ha, guess we better live then, because I'm totally right..."

The water tribesman caught his returning boomerang and briefly considered beating himself to death with it. "Why didn't I back Zuko up with Azula and send Katara with you guys?"

Toph punched him in the shoulder before stomping a metal wave to knock down the latest wave of firebenders. "Because you'd be too busy getting topped by Zuko to get any fighting done, of course."

"_Sigh_"


	2. Artifact of attraction

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

_**Artifact of attraction**_

"I think you need to start wearing a shirt during training."

Zuko looked up in surprise. The Avatar's - that is, Aang's earthbending teacher was looking very seriously just to the left of his face as she made her completely inexplicable announcement. The courtyard was otherwise empty as the others had already headed for lunch. The prince had stayed behind to clean up and avoid awkward socializing with a group he still didn't feel completely welcome in. Then this.

"Er..." What? Why? I beg your pardon? "Can you even tell if I'm wearing a shirt?"

"With my earthbending sight, you mean? Only if I concentrate. From the reactions of the others? Oh boy howdy, yeah! That's why you need to wear a shirt. Katara and Sokka start staring, then one notices the other staring and they start glaring at each other, then you touch Aang and they both tense up like they want to kill the poor little monk for contact with their man meat."

"Their WHAT?" This was really a little too much. "Katara hates me! And Sokka has a girlfriend! And Aang is twelve!"

"Yeah well, Sugar Queen 'accidentally' splashed you while you were shirtless yesterday, I heard Snoozles say_ 'Zuko abs' _in his sleep the same way he normally says_ 'seal jerky' _and Twinkle Toes was totally lying today when he said he couldn't to the stance right and you needed to help him..." Toph took pity on the firebender and gently (for her) patted his arm. "Look, I'm sure none of them actually even like you as a person, so don't worry about it. You just need to keep your torso covered so it doesn't tear the group apart." She headed off for lunch.

"But... I get **hot** while I'm training..."

**A/N : Dragon's Prey updated today! And it has a spiritual alternative to mpreg that I liked! **


	3. Can't get in trouble for nuthin

**Standard disclaimers apply**

_**Can't get in trouble for nuthin**_

It was the simplest plan. Make contact with a White Lotus member who was in jail and find out if they could get a message through to Iroh. What easier way than to get themselves throw in jail with him and then escape at leisure after their discussion. Easy.

Katara hadn't liked the plan, pointing to the time she and Toph tried it and ended up in a wooden cell with no bendables, but Sokka was sure he and Zuko could escape from a small town lockup with no problems. And this wasn't a trap for them.

He was still pretty sure, but he might never get a chance to test the theory, because the plan was breaking down at a much earlier step.

"Okay, let's go over our options. Public drunkenness?"

Zuko sighed. "They liked our singing."

"Big fight?"

"They took bets and that noble who passed by wants me to join his private guard."

"Petty theft?"

"The girl at the vegetable stand felt sorry for us and gave us the food for free. And she hit on you."

Sokka hit his head against the wall. "She was hitting on **both** of us, and I'm pretty sure that weird finger crossing thing meant she didn't feel the need to choose... Hey, that gives me an idea!"

"I told you we weren't propositioning female guards! Someone else has to call them or it will be obvious."

"No, no, public indecency! Surely even in** this **town someone will call the guards if kids are having sex in the street!"

"Wait, what?" Zuko started to worry. "But Suki isn't here for you to have sex with and I'm not trying to seduce that vegetable stand girl over this!"

"It's okay, we don't need a girl," the water tribesman insisted as he dragged his friend out of the alley and started taking off his tunic. "We'll get arrested even faster this way!"

"You're insane!"

"We'll let them add public insanity to the charges if they want, now get your hand on my ass and moan." Zuko really was going to make another objection, but it was around that time that Sokka started tonguing one of his nipples, and with the moaning part of the plan already happening, he figured he might as well roll with it.

* * *

"So what's your next idea?" the Fire Prince asked in rather flushed and slightly sticky annoyance when they were back in the alley.

"I think this actually worked out..."

"How so, we didn't get arrested and now I'm scarred for life physically **and** mentally!"

"Yeah, but with all the money those girls threw in your shirt while it was on the ground, I think we can afford to just bribe the guards to let us talk to the guy!"

* * *

"How was I to know bribery was a Capital offense in this town?"

"I hate you so very much..."

**A/N : Something To Hold Onto concluded quite epically and while I don't ship much Jetko (unless Sokka is there too) it was a really well done fic, so you get this.**


	4. Perfectly arranged marriage

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Perfectly arranged marriage**

"I won't do it! You guys have to help me!" Toph raged through the Fire Lord's private study, deforming the tiles of the floor and remolding a few priceless antique statues. The Greatest Earthbender in the World was no less hotheaded at 16 than she had been at 12, and no better at hiding her displeasure. "When I went back to my parents, they said they would respect me and stop treating me like a baby, and now this!"

"Well, technically, marrying you off is pretty much the opposite of treating you like a baby," Sokka put in from his relaxed seat on the window ledge. "Unless Earth Kingdom rules on that are really creepy."

"Shut up, Snoozles!" The window ledge suddenly became a lot more pointy. "You know what I mean! I want to make my own choices, live my own life, and not get married to some Fire Nation noble in an effort to demonstrate unity and let my parents see me coddled for life!"

"It's okay Toph, Sokka just has no idea how lucky he was to be born a peasant." Zuko patted the still tiny young woman awkwardly on the arm. "He thinks it should be all about who you're in love with, and anyone with a different idea can be ignored."

She slumped against him. "Well yeah lucky him, he fell in love with you and you both ignore anyone who doesn't like how closely your 'personal bodyguard' is guarding your body." She noticed Snoozles get tense and a little angry and Zuko slump in defeat, but was too wrapped up in her own problems to care. "But I can't do this! I can't marry some guy I've never met, and be a little flower of a wife, and besides it... it's humiliating!"

"How is it humiliating?" Sokka had found a new lounging spot, picking one made of wood this time to reduce the chances of being spiked. "Isn't chosen being a compliment, if nothing else?"

"I wasn't even chosen! I've been chosen as a 'candidate'! Like my family isn't good enough to make a full arrangement, they're willing to offer me as an option for some stuck up bastard to choose from because Fire Nation gets the best of the Earth Kingdom but I should be grateful just to be considered?"

"Wait-"

"-What?" Both men sat stark upright and stared at each other over their exclamations. Zuko continued. "Toph, what exactly is the arrangement your parents made?"

"King Bumi somehow convinced them to send me here for some sort of humiliating cattle call so some Fire Nation noble could pick a wife from among the Earth Kingdom. Apparently he's too good to get the full arrangement treatment and gets a selection to choose from. There's some sort of party for the Solstice, but I convinced my parents to let me come early because I figured you guys could get me out of this somehow." She stopped ranting as she listened to their heartbeats. They were... shocked? Confused? Um, becoming ecstatic?

"Toph, there's..." Sokka stumbled over his words. "There's this thing Zuko has to do, the advisors kinda rammed it down our throats..."

"What are you talking about, Snoozles?"

Zuko gave a strangled cough. "My advisors have been harassing me for years to get married, Toph. I've put them off with excuses that I don't want an arranged marriage like my parents have, but they know it's really because of Sokka, and they finally proposed that we have some sort of bizarre 'engagement party' with a bunch of acceptable marriage candidates, and that way I get to choose who I marry."

Toph gaped. She shouldn't have needed the extra information, but turned her sightless eyes towards Sokka anyway.

"Yeah, it's on the Solstice."

She gave a strangled cough of her own. "Are you telling me I'm on the short list to marry **Sparky**?"

"I'm not sure how short it is, but... yeah."

"So... I'd be living here with you two, helping with whatever rebellions and problems you're always complaining about, and occasionally banging Zuko in the hopes of getting some heirs?"

It was one of those moments when Toph wished she could see, because she was sure the color and expression on the Fire Lord's face would be way better than just his heartbeat and strangled breathing. Sokka, on the other hand was probably grinning ear to ear. "Essentially, yup."

"And watching you two make out when no courtiers are around?"

"If you want."

"Wood flooring," Zuko mumbled in mortification. "Gotta get thick wood flooring for the bedroom..."

Toph considered for just a moment then turned to the Fire Lord. "Do I get to bang Sokka once in a while, too?"

"Why are you asking him?" The water tribesman objected, but she could already sense Zuko nodding.

"Well only 'bang him' bang him when you're already pregnant, otherwise, at least one of you has to have pants on at all times."

"Okay, guys, you've got yourself a wife!"

**A/N : While none of my official favorites have updated lately, there's been some decent Toko love going on, so I was inspired to some Tozukka. I pretty much picked my own trope this time. The story also matches Heir Club For Men fairly well.**

**A/N2 : While Jetzukka is my 'sexytimes' OT3 (because... well, yeah. *nosebleeds*), Tozukka is totally and completely my 'long term relationship/Zuko needs an heir' OT3. She's noble enough to make the advisors happy, they get to have wacky adventures together, she's a good enough friend to respect their relationship and she gets both of her canon crushes. Tozukka FOREVER!**


	5. Flight strength heart

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Warning : naughty talk.**

_**Flight Strength Heart**_

Sokka was sure his brain had dribbled out of his ears. He lay back for longer than was good for his reputation as the perpetually unimpressed, wisecracking, meat and sarcasm guy before he managed to squeak out, "What... **What** was that?"

The Fire Prince, still completely dressed, (and he wasn't really going to be able to do anything about that until his muscles reformed from jelly... probably sometime after Sozin's Comet) crawled up his body with a self satisfied smirk to lay a kiss on his neck. "Hrm? I didn't think you were that inexperienced, I think it's called a blo-"

"No, you jerk, at the end with the... heat and... whoa..."

Zuko snickered. "Breath of fire technique. Along with not freezing to death and having an emergency close quarters weapon, it lets me change my internal temperature when I want to."

"I am never calling Fire a lame element ever again."

"It's not a lame element!"

"Not anymore..."

"I can redirect lightening!"

"And give the best blow jobs on the planet."

"I don't think that's what Sozin had in mind when he wanted to share our greatness with the world."

"He should have." Sokka started to drift off. "Fire... best element ever..."

**A/N : Yeah, Internet Relationships updated! **

**A/N2 : Fire - the element of destruction, power, ambition... and yummy sex tricks. Probably rocking backrubs, too.**


	6. Bara

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

**Warning : complete crack.**

**Bara**

"Hmmmm..." Suki watched as Zuko and Sokka snuggled on the sofa. "Gay guys are so hot."

A loud snort from Toph interrupted her musing. "You don't think gay guys are hot, you just think those two are hot because they're so stereotypical yaoi."

Sokka managed to rouse himself from Zuko's shoulder to object. "We are not stereotypical yaoi! We're manly men!"

This snort was louder. "You're both young, slender, have no body hair..."

Katara nodded and joined in. "You both have lots of inner turmoil that you help each other through and act all sensitive and stuff. The only scar you have between the two of you is Zuko's big one and that just highlights how pretty he is otherwise."

"Pretty?" Zuko really hadn't been going to get involved, but really!

"Well, all of that aside, it doesn't mean I only like them because they're yaoi," Suki overrode the attempts at disagreement from the boys to continue, "I would think gay guys were hot even if they weren't pretty!"

"Oh really?" Toph stood up and walked behind the Kyoshi warrior. "Tell me if this turns you on..." She leaned down and whispered in the other girl's ear.

_"Combustion Man and The Hippo."_

Suki was still twitching in horror when she went to bed that night.

**A/N : Dragon's Prey updated! Yeah! Happy endings all around!**

**A/N2 : Got this as a random trope and thought "4th wall destruction, here I come!". I'd never seen this term before, I wish I could link the title right to the trope page, but you can always get them by searching for the title at tvtropes dot org.**

**A/N3 : My spellchecker wants me to replace "tvtropes" with "stovetops". I am amused.**


	7. Watching the sunset

**Standard disclaimers apply.**

_**Watching the sunset.**_

Sitting on the edge of the cliff above the Air Temple watching the sunset, Zuko couldn't help but think of another sunset and how different it was.

When he'd suggested a picnic, the response had been an enthusiastic "Sure!" rather than a sigh and "Whatever..." The walk up to the cliff had been cheerful. Sokka had enjoyed the food and talked about different places he'd eaten as they traveled across the world.

It had always been a compliment that Mai cared about him. That he could pull her just the tiniest bit out of her shell, even coax an occasional smile. And he cared about her too, but he cared about so much more. The compliment of being the only thing that mattered to her had always warred with the fact that he couldn't share anything else that mattered to him without boring her.

"Hey Sokka?"

"Hmmm?"

"What do you think about the color orange?"

The water tribesman laughed. "It's a decent enough color, but I like sunsets with pink wispy clouds best. Why do you ask?"

"No real reason." He leaned over for a small kiss as the last of the glow faded from the sky. "I love you."

"Love you too."

**A/N : Internet Relationships updated! Yeah!**

**A/N2 : The featured pic for this trope (which i found though the random selector) is Zuko and Mai watching the sunset. So, obviously I had to do a drabble about Zuko watching a sunset with Sokka and how different the two relationships are.**


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